Family Matters
by Akane-Rei
Summary: After years of travel, a weary Shin comes back to Japan and to a life that is both different and similar to the one he left behind seven years ago.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: based off the drama-verse. Why, you might ask? Because it's the only one I've seen to its completeness and Jun Matsumoto is just too cute.

Spoilers for the whole first season of Gokusen as well as the special.

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**Family Matters — A Gokusen Fanfiction**

…_I'm settling here well enough. They have some training courses I need to take before I can actually begin the volunteer work, but it all seems to be a little disorganized. I think you might like it here. Not to live in, but certainly to visit. Knowing you, you'll probably have a group of delinquents trailing you while you encourage them to run towards the scorching sun. Also…I wanted to say…I'm glad to hear from you. I know that you would have most likely preferred that I attended one of the schools that accepted me. To say that I was surprised to get your letter given the circumstances would be an understatement. I guess deep down, I wasn't sure I really had your support regarding this decision. Now, however, I just wanted to say "Thank you." For everything…_

_From Shin Sawada to his former teacher, Kumiko Yamaguchi, one month after he left Japan._

**_Chapter One: The Long Road Home _**

"Tadaima," he said quietly, hearing his voice echo in the halls of his home.

After years of so-called exile, it still felt a little strange calling this place home.

But then, a lot can happen in seven years. If someone had told him years ago that he would be coming home to his father's house expecting a warm welcome, he would have rolled his eyes in disgust and told them to keep dreaming. Yet here he was standing at the precipice of the home he grew up in. He was more than little travel weary and ready to finally settle down in his home country. The wanderlust that had him itching to leave this place and never look back had all but disappeared after years of service. And even more surprising, in his opinion at least, was the fact that he was coming home to a welcoming family. From the sister who missed him—if her letters were any indication—to the father who looked at his efforts with pride, Shin couldn't deny the light feeling in his chest as he looked forward to seeing them both.

The only thing he regretted was the fact that it took the death of his mother to heal the breach between him and his father. Thinking back on the years that followed his mother's sudden illness and eventual death, he was still amazed at the initial efforts his father had taken to reach out to him. It had taken years, but eventually, he and his father had come to an amicable understanding and respect for each other. At times, it all still felt too good to be true, but the fact that he was here in this house was reality enough for him.

"Tadaima!" he said louder as he dropped his duffle bag by the front door and proceeded to the sound of voices. Entering the kitchen, he found the surprised looks of his father and his sister.

"Onichan!" Natsumi screamed, jumping from her chair and running towards him. "Onichan," she repeated as she enveloped him in her embrace.

He laughed as he staggered back from the force of her body thrown against him. Wrapping her in his arms, he teased, "Have you gained some weight?" He pointed at her protruding belly.

"Onichan!" she said again, pushing against him indignantly. "This is what pregnant women look like," she said with a slight huff and a smile in her voice. "If you ever got married," she added smartly, "you might know that."

"She got you there, Son," his father finally said from the background.

He glanced up and caught his father's teasing smirk. As always, he reveled on the differences between the father he left home from and the man standing before him. Moving forward, he held out his hand to him, only to be pulled forward into another bear hug. Startled at first at the overt gesture of affection, it took him a minute to return the hug he was so unused to receiving. Whether it was the death of his wife or his separation from his children, Shotaro Sawada had mellowed over the years.

"Welcome home, Shin," his father muttered gruffly under his breath.

"It's good to be back," he replied. And after some thought, he added, "For good."

Just as quickly, he felt his father let go of him, only to hold him by his shoulders. Meeting the questioning look in his father eyes, he nodded. "I'm staying in Japan for good this time," he repeated.

"What?" came his sister's response from behind him.

Immediately, he felt her grip his elbow as she turn his body to face her.

"Really?" she asked, as if afraid to believe what she was hearing.

He nodded. "Really," he replied. "I've been thinking about it for awhile and I thought that now was a good a time as any." He pulled up a chair and gestured for his father to sit down as well as his sister. Following suit, he began to attempt to explain. "I know that it may come as a surprise, but the truth is," he paused and looked at both of them in the eye, "the truth is…the truth is after awhile, there didn't seem to be any good reason for me to be away from home."

"Shin," his father said gravely, "I'm glad to have you back, you know I am. But are you sure about this? What happened to traveling the world? Seeing new things?"

"I have traveled the world and seen new things," he responded. "To be honest, I'm a little tired," he admitted to them. He stared at his hand in front of him as he thought of the past year. When was it? When was it that he stopped feeling the usual adrenalin rush that accompanied the thought of going to a new place he's never been before? "And who knows?" he continued at the resulting silence around the table, "Maybe I'll do it again someday. Right now, though, I want to do something here."

"Onichan," Natsumi's voice broke from beside him as she stood up.

He gave a panicked look at her tear-filled eyes. "Hey!" he exclaimed, looking around for tissues or napkins…or anything at all to give to her. Like most males, genuine tears from any female filled him with the urge to run for cover. And if that wasn't an option, then halting the flow required the most immediate attention. "This news was supposed to make you _happy,_" he said defensively, looking at his father.

"I am happy," she wailed, still looking at him with watery eyes.

"Is this one of those female pregnant things where you cry when you're happy?" he asked teasingly, desperately.

"Shut up, Shin-ni!" she cried. "This is not the time to be funny." Without ceremony, she bent over him and hugged him. Again. "I'm so glad," she whispered between hiccups. "Does Haru know?"

"He does now," he replied. "Uchi was the one who picked me up from the airport. He dropped me off here before he went to work." For what probably won't be the last time, he began to wonder how in the world Haruhiko Uchiyama ended up being his brother-in-law. He glanced at his glowing sister. Not that he minded, of course. Especially when Natsumi seemed so happy and content with herself.

"Eh?" Natsumi cried, put out. "Now that you mention it, why didn't you tell us you were coming home?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise," he explained, glad for the cessation of tears.

"Oh, it's a surprise alright," she said in mock-hurt. "You should have told us! Dad and I could have met you at the airport!"

"Then it wouldn't have been a surprise, ne?" he asked drolly.

She nodded, but he could see her mind racing. "There's so many people to tell," she said almost to herself. "Shin, we should have a party for your return!" she declared. "I'll invite all your old friends. I know you've kept in touch with them. Most of them are here anyway. Haru and I have them for dinner about once a month." Her eyes twinkled in mischief before throwing a sly glance to their father. "Oh, and Kumiko-chan, too!"

"Kumiko-chan?" he repeated.

"Oh you know her," Natsumi said airily. "Your homeroom teacher back in high school?"

Knew her? Of course he knew her! In the deep recesses of his mind, wasn't she part of the reason he finally came back?

Wait a minute.

Kumiko-_chan_?

"Didn't you keep in touch with her too?" Natsumi questioned.

He nodded slowly.

Sure he kept in touch with her. When he thought of all those times he would wait impatiently to get a letter from her in whatever godawful place he was in, he nearly blushed.

"I thought she said something like that," Natsumi nodded knowingly. "Plus," she began to whisper conspiratorially, "I think Dad would appreciate the company."

Huh?

"Natsumi," their father's threatening tone came through.

"Just between you and me," Natsumi continued in mock-whisper, "I think that—"

"Natsumi!" their father said again.

This time Shin caught the meaningful look his father gave his sister. If he didn't know any better, he would swear that his father looked sort of…flustered.

What the hell was going on?

Natsumi beamed.

"Anyway," she continued, "we'll definitely invite her, too! She's been such a great friend these past few years and—"

"Hey, hold on!" Shin protested, "Who said anything about my agreeing to a party?" Better nip this party gig in the bud first. He'll deal with the other issue later.

His sister arched a brow. "I wasn't asking your permission," she informed him pertly. "I'm telling you that we're going to have a party." She crossed her arms. "It's my prerogative as your sister to make decisions like this."

He shook his head. "I don't think so," he insisted. "I'm still your older brother. You can't just boss me around."

"You're going to refuse a pregnant woman one of the few joys she can participate in now that she is hampered from doing plenty of other activities because of the baby?" her sister asked him, askance. She looked at their father for support.

"I'm staying out of this," Shotaro Sawada replied. "Getting in the middle between the two of you is a big mistake." He smiled at them serenely. "I'll go with whoever wins."

Natsumi grinned. "No wonder he's such a good politician."

"Coward," Shin muttered under his breath.

His father looked at him in defense. "You expect _me_ to refuse a pregnant woman for you?" he asked. "You're on your own, pal. Think of it this way, Uchiyama and I have had months of this. You've only been here a few minutes. Count yourself lucky."

Natsumi glared at both of them. "It's going to happen," she declared. "We'll have a party. Either at my place or here. And it's happening this weekend."

"This weekend?" her father repeated.

"There won't be a lot of people," she explained. "I was just going to invite Shin's old high school buddies and Kumiko-chan, anyway."

"Kumiko-_chan_?" Shin finally asked. "Since when have you been that friendly with her?"

"We've had dinner with her several times," she told him matter-of-factly, giving their father a sideways glance.

"Oh really?" He gave her a skeptical look. He didn't miss the looks she's been giving their father and resolved to ask her more about it later on.

"Well, I need to be heading out," their father interrupted, with a quick gulp of coffee. "I'll be back tonight so you kids don't get in trouble."

Natsumi rolled her eyes. "Yes, dad," she replied. "We'll be good."

Their father laughed before standing up and kissing Natsumi on top of her head. He gave Shin another nod of approval as he picked up his briefcase and headed outside. "Don't let your sister overexert herself," were his parting words before completely leaving them alone in the kitchen.

Shin watched his father's retreating back, counting the old man lucky for his escape. And it certainly did seem like an escape. He looked back at Natsumi's innocent eyes.

The silence lasted no longer than three seconds when Natsumi burst out, "I can't believe you're finally here to stay!"

"What was that about?" he asked without preamble.

She batted her lashes. "What was what about?" she returned mischievously.

"That cryptic little looks you and Dad were throwing each other," he replied, his eyes narrowing. His sister was savoring something, he could tell. She never was one great for keeping secrets and he knew from the look in her eyes that there was something she was dying to tell.

"Well," she began, her eyes dancing, "I think that maybe…Dad's in love!"

He looked at her skeptically, unsure if he heard her correctly. His dad? In love? He raised an eyebrow.

"You know," she said, a little put out, "I was expecting more of a reaction from that statement."

"Are we talking about the same guy here?" he asked, just to make certain. "You know...our dad? The senator?"

Natsumi nodded enthusiastically. "I know!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe it either, but there's just so many hints. I mean, I've seen them have dinner together and all. Oh, and he listens to her. I mean really listens. And, he's changed. You must have noticed it, too, right?" She paused. "I mean, who do you think you have to thank for your reconciliation with dad? I think that it was her who pushed and pushed until dad finally saw the light!"

"Her?" he finally asked, his mind still racing at the thought of his father with another woman. He didn't know why he found it difficult to get around that fact, especially since his mother has been dead for over five years. But the thought of his dad being in love was just too…too…

Bizarre.

That's the word.

Natsumi rolled her eyes. "Are you even listening to me?" she asked impatiently.

"Hey!" he defended himself. "You never said who it was in all your ramblings." He peered at her. "So, who is it?"

Later he would berate himself for asking such a stupid and oblivious question. He would give himself the excuse of being too pre-occupied with the strange idea of his father seeing some woman that his train of thought was lost somewhere in his musings. Still, when all was said and done, he was pretty sure that even if he had been at his full faculties, he would have still been floored when Natsumi replied, "Why, Kumiko-chan of course! Who did you think I was talking about?"

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More author's note: after a couple of one-shots, I thought I'd write something with a little more meat into it. This idea has been bouncing in my head for awhile now because…well…I wanted another take on the whole age difference thing. I don't know how old Sawada's father truly is in canon, but I made him as young as I possibly could so that the age difference between him and Yankumi won't seem _too_ yuck (at least in my mind). And in case anyone is wondering, yes, this _is_ a Shinkumi multi-chapter story. Anyway, like it? Hate it? Trash? Let me know. 'Til next time! 

Japanese terms:

Onichan – elder brother


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: For all those who've reviewed, thanks so much for your encouraging words! I wasn't sure whether the premise would be too…hm…what's the word?...too yuck?...for Gokusen fans. Anyway, I'd like to reiterate that this will be a Shinkumi fic (as I am a Shinkumi fan).

Without further ado…

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**Family Matters — A Gokusen Fanfiction**

…_This letter is late in responding, I know. I debated whether to send it to you, which is why it took so long for me to reply. I was just so…mad after reading your letter. Have I ever lied to you? (Okay, not counting the whole cheerleading incident). When I said that I supported your decision not to go to any of the universities, I truly meant it! I can't believe you doubted my words for a minute…_

_From Kumiko Yamaguchi to her former student, Shin Sawada, three months after he left Japan._

**_Chapter Two: The Second Home_**

As he walked down the familiar road that led to her house, it gave his mind time to think. That was the reason he chose to walk the rest of the way anyway. Instead of taking a cab or even driving himself to her home, he had chosen to take the bus and walk the same route he took that night he first came here to unknowingly return her cell phone.

He remembered the first time he first saw her, back in that auditorium wearing that ridiculous red track suit. He had arrived late like always for the school's ceremony commencing the new term. He didn't think much of her then as she stood on that stage with the rest of the teachers. At that time, she had been another adult in a long line of adults that attempted to exert some sort of control over him and his friends. He had heard his schoolmates chant for her to go home before he even entered the building and had echoed the sentiment in his head. Teachers had been useless. He and his classmates could have gotten by that year without the _help_ teachers had been so forcefully inflicting upon them. And so when he had found himself looking at the object of his friends' jeers, he hadn't been able to help but roll his eyes at the thought of another useless human being that the school was paying to baby-sit them needlessly.

She had been nothing to him then. None at all.

The second time he saw her, or rather heard her really, he had been waking up from the little nap he usually took during homeroom class. Thinking back now, he found it amazing how easy it was to fall asleep in that place, given the amount of noise and ruckus his classmates made. Strangely enough, it had been the strident sound of her voice asking them all to be quiet that woke him out of his stupor that day. With sleep-laden eyes, he had looked up in time to see Kuma give the new teacher a warning and a scare. Again, that in itself was really nothing unusual. He had noticed how she ignored the threat and continued on with her introduction. After all, what else could she have done against the bear-like size of her student?

She didn't matter to him then. Not at all.

It was only when Kuma picked up that baseball that he had finally sat up to pay attention. Had he been more alert and had there been more time, he would have certainly stopped his friend from what he was sure would have been an expulsion waiting to happen. It was one thing to throw harmless pieces of paper and trash to the teacher, but it was quite another to throw something that could cause brain damage when it connected. But in the end, he had been too slow to react and the ball had been in the air by the time any hint of protest even made its way to his tongue. And all he could do at that point was watch almost in slow motion the ball flew from Kuma's hand…right into the waiting palm of their new homeroom teacher.

To say that he had been surprised would have been an understatement and years down the line, he would remember that moment as _that_ time. It was _that _time when he first truly noticed her.

Oh it wasn't as if he began to like her then. Not at all.

If anything, something about her made him all that more suspicious and he found himself watching her intently from the corner of his eyes. It was then that he began to notice the quirky little things that made no sense. Like, for example, her unorthodox response to Kuma's lies. Any other teacher wouldn't have believed Kuma's weak story about the yellow bag he was carrying. But not Yankumi. Any other teacher would have rejoiced at finding the culprit of the stolen school money and would have wasted no time in marching the guilty party directly towards the Head Teacher's direction. But not Yankumi. And he would have to admit that after she rescued his friend, the beginnings of something akin to admiration began to blossom almost unwillingly in his heart.

But he didn't have some sort of crush on her then. Not at all.

After all, the thought of even being remotely attracted to the silly and tomboyish homeroom teacher of class 3-D was laughable. What's more, the thought of being remotely vulnerable to another authority figure was more than he was willing to admit. And so he continued to watch her as unobtrusively as he could, to the point where sleeping in class became more of a front—a façade even—that he put on to keep his friends from guessing that class had suddenly become…quite interesting to him. After years of boredom and tardy appearances, he found himself looking forward to school and the actual beginning of class. While the subjects were no more of a joke than before, he found his interest engaged in the new puzzle that was their teacher.

And still, he wasn't in love with her then. Not at all.

She had been a mere curiosity that had to be satisfied. Something about her had not rung true and he had been unable to put his finger on it.

Until that one night. When he had stood before the same gates he stood before now. Back then, he remembered thinking how old-fashioned the house looked before he entered it. He remembered the first time the first time he saw the wooden board that prominently displayed the Oeda name and emblem and he remembered looking in shock at the picture stuck on the back of the pink mobile phone.

And now as he stood outside the very same doors he stood in front of before years ago, he grinned at the memory of that long ago evening with Yankumi's family as they tried to explain away her phone and her connections to the Oeda family.

"Shin!"

He looked up just in time to see the smiling face of Minoru and Tetsu from the doorway before he was surrounded by both men slapping his back in welcome.

"You have no idea how surprised we were to hear your voice on the phone," Tetsu told him jovially as he was led into the house. "We haven't told Ojou you were coming yet because we thought it would be a good surprise for her when she gets home from school. She always gets excited seeing her old students and she's always had a soft spot for you."

"Oh?" he commented curiously.

Minoru nodded beside him. "She's really appreciated how you kept her secret during that time in Shirokin," he informed him. "Plus, you guys were her first students. I think your class holds a special place in her heart."

"Oh," he said again, slightly disappointed and silently reprimanding himself for it. He _knew_ better than anyone how Yankumi felt about her students. As much as he wanted to think differently, especially in those days, he had always been one of the students for Yankumi. As much as she had helped him out in the past, she had also done the same for countless of his classmates and future students.

He shook his head as this morning's conversation with his sister came back to him. In fact, if he were honest with himself, he would have to admit that this morning's talk hardly left his mind all day. And even then, he still couldn't wrap his mind around the information his sister had given him.

Yankumi? And his _father?_

He ignored the tightness in his gut at the very thought of his father and his former teacher. He attributed the sick feeling of uneasiness in his heart to the mere idea that his father might actually be dating anyone. He told himself that he would feel the same had it been any other woman his father was seeing.

After all, he was over his teacher, right?

Wasn't one of the reasons he came back home was to see her and to prove to himself that whatever feelings he'd had for her were a thing of the past? Wasn't that why he came to this house on his first day back to Japan? Hadn't he wanted to stand before Yankumi and know in his heart of hearts that he was over her?

Because the truth was, at some point during his time as her student, at some point during the times he had been joining his classmates in putting down Yankumi's sex appeal, at some point during the time he had spent sharing her secret…at some point in those times, he had slowly but surely fallen in love with his homeroom teacher.

It was trite and it was corny and oh so overdone. Just in his class were a number of students in love with a teacher, namely Fujiyama-sensei. He remembered thinking to himself what an impossibly stupid situation he was in. In love with a teacher who wasn't even that sexy, who was a clueless tomboy, and who was part of a yakuza family. Correction, not just part of it, but would have been the heir to it had she chosen. So often he had told himself that his interest in her stemmed only from a grudging respect. And for the most part, he had succeeded in convincing himself of his denials.

Until she had turned in her resignation.

It was as if the world he lived in had ceased to exist. And he finally, finally had to admit to himself why the thought of not seeing her everyday in school caused a sharp pain near the region of his heart.

"Would you like something to drink?" Minoru's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Jerked out of his reverie, he looked at the inquiring faces before him as the words finally sunk in. "Oh yes," he bowed affirmatively from his kneeling position on the table. He smiled appreciatively as they brought the sake bottle to the table.

"How time does fly," a voice to his side commented.

Recognizing the voice, he stood up to face Yankumi's grandfather in a formal bow. "Kuroda-san," he greeted.

Ryuichiro Kuroda was just as he remembered. If he didn't know any better, he would have said that the man hadn't aged a day since he last saw him.

"Shin," he greeted in return with a firm handshake. "Was it not only yesterday that you refused Wakamatsu's gift of sake on the grounds that you were a minor?"

Seeing those wise eyes looking gently at him, Shin basked in the feeling of welcome that was extended to him. As they all sat by the table, it was as if the last seven years never happened and he found himself enmeshed in discussion with the people he had considered his second family. How many times during those dinners in evenings long ago had he silently thanked Yankumi for including him in her family?

"It was good of you to come," Kuroda told him. "I heard you were in town and wondered whether you would visit us here."

"It would have been impossible for me not to," he replied honestly. "You have been my family when my own gave up on me." He looked at him and tried to convey the gratitude he felt over the years with his eyes. "That has not changed just because my own family and I have reconciled." He paused. "I am…sorry I was unable to visit the last time I was in the country," he said quietly.

Kuroda peered at him through the rim of his sake cup. "It was a difficult time for you," he said slowly. "I remember Kumiko seemed very worried at that time, but we understood your need to most likely be alone. I was very sorry for your loss," he told him gravely.

Shin inwardly winced. Yes, he remembered years ago when he came home for the death of his mother. While he hadn't seen Yankumi's family, he _had_ seen his teacher.

He cringed as he thought of his encounter with Yankumi the night of his mother's funeral.

"You must know, however, that you are always welcome in this house," Kuroda continued, as he raised his sake-filled cup up in a toast. After sipping the drink, he looked at him closely and asked, "How long will you be here this time?"

"Actually," Shin began, a little distracted, "I believe I'm here for good this time." He heard the surprised sounds coming from Minoru and Tetsu. "It thought that it was time," he hurried to explain, "to come back home."

But in front of him, he found Kuroda nodding at him slowly.

"My reasons for going away," _Like trying to get away from his father influence or being in love with someone who saw him as nothing more than a kid_, "no longer existed." He and his father were certainly in better terms and Yankumi…well, he wasn't in love with her anymore...right?

"I see," stated Kuroda. "And what brings you here today, on your first day back?" he asked.

"I thought I'd see…everyone…and catch up," he replied.

"Kumiko should also be here soon," Kuroda declared knowingly. "She will be more than happy to see you." He looked at him closely. "She misses you, you know."

Shin nodded, feeling warmth suffuse his cheeks as he silently cursed. What was the matter with him? Her grandfather makes an off hand comment and here he was acting like a schoolboy.

"After a time," he continued on, "your letters had stopped coming and I believe she was saddened by that fact."

Shin looked up in surprise. _She _was saddened by it? Wasn't she the one who first stopped corresponding with him? Wasn't she the one who stopped writing? When he thought of all those nights he laid in bed just thinking of the things he could have done or said or eventually written to make her write back to him, a familiar wave of frustration washed over him.

"I know you had a falling out, the two of you," Kuroda stated while giving a pointed look to the other two men beside him.

With that look, Shin heard Tetsu make a coughing sound before he and Minoru excused themselves from the table. Apprehensive, he met their encouraging eyes before he turned back to face Kuroda-san's piercing ones. What had Yankumi told her grandfather?

"She did not tell me what it was about," he continued, answering his unasked question. "And that is rare for her given our relationship. But I respect her privacy and yours. Your battles are your own in this situation." He took a deep breath. "But whatever it is you two have argued about, I am sure that it could be fixed. In your own ways, both of you care and respect one another. That is why you are here, and that is why Kumiko has—"

"Tadaima!"

He stiffened, hearing the all too familiar voice behind him. He closed his eyes before opening them slowly, as if to brace himself for the coming onslaught.

"Where is everybody?" she called out.

"Oi, Kumiko!" Kuroda greeted his grand-daughter after meeting his nervous eyes.

"Oji-chan!" her voice floated over him. "Eh? Do we have a guest?"

Her voice was closer now, in the same room even.

He knew he should turn around and greet her. Knew he should have done it the second he heard her voice. But something inside him was paralyzed. Whether it stemmed from the beginning of her grandfather's talk with him or whether it was the image of her with his own father, he couldn't bring himself to face her right that second.

"Yes, a surprise guest," replied Kuroda, looking at his expression curiously. "Come over here and welcome him."

Hearing the shuffling of feet behind him, he willed his body to turn and look away from the inquiring gaze Kuroda-san was sending him. Lifting his eyes, he turned in time to see Yankumi do a double take and almost stumble through the rice-paper door that led to the room.

"S-S-Sawada!" she stammered, her eyes wide like saucers and her mouth agape.

He stood up, almost clumsily, and stared at the face that had haunted his thoughts and dreams in the past. He stared at the woman who was his teacher, the woman whom his father was supposedly seeing, the woman who helped bridge the abyss between him and his family.

The woman whom he wasn't in love with...at least, not anymore.

He stared at her for what may be seconds but for what seemed like hours and knew that once again…once again he had lied to himself.

As his heart raced the trip-hammer beat he was all too familiar with, he knew…that he had loved her all along.

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As always: like it? Hate it? Let me know!

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	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Thank you, THANK YOU for the favorable response to this story! Happy reading!

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**Family Matters — A Gokusen Fanfiction**

…_I didn't mean it that way. Maybe it came out all wrong. I never meant to imply that I distrusted you. After all that you had done for me…for my friends, my classmates, I admit that there is no one else I could rely on with more confidence. I would have thought that you understood this…_

_From Shin Sawada written to his former teacher, Kumiko Yamaguchi, while muttering under his breath, "You would think she would know after I practically announced to everyone both at graduation and that time she was forced to resign that she was the one adult I did trust. Damn Yankumi's as clueless as ever."_

**_Chapter Three: Confrontations_**

"Yankumi," he said, in that stoic voice she knew so well. He could have been talking about the weather, for all the emotion contained in his tone. The way he sounded, it could have just as easily been one of those times when he said her name during their time as teacher and student. He said her name as if years and events didn't separate them.

It was almost anticlimactic in a way.

When she entered her home that day, she had already been fighting a feeling of being out of sorts. She had been distracted that whole day in class. There was a nagging feeling that she couldn't quite pinpoint and she had almost been glad when the last bell had rung. Even her students had given her inquiring looks all day as well as a wide berth. To their minds, a distracted Yankumi was far more prone to slip into her Yakuza skin and they were careful not to let that Yankumi out against them.

This was why she had been more than a little apprehensive upon arriving at the unusually quiet house. While she understood that Wakamatsu was often busy with work, she had come to expect Tetsu or Minoru to greet her whenever she came home from school. Seeing her grandfather had relieved her mind. While she wasn't the most superstitious person out there, she would have to admit that part of her had been afraid that her restlessness might have been due to a premonition of something bad happening to her family. Seeing her grandfather relieved her mind not only because it assured her that he was alright, but it also let her know that the rest of the family was alright. Otherwise, her grandfather wouldn't have been sitting there calmly talking to…

"Sawada," she said again, unable to help herself. Unable to believe what her eyes were telling her. Attempting to hold herself steady, she clutched the rice paper door before her and looked back and forth between her grandfather and her former…student. He was her student.

"Shin arrived in Japan just this morning," her grandfather informed her helpfully as he stood up to give her a kiss of greeting on her cheek. His arms held her steady, something she was more than thankful for at that moment. "I'll leave you two alone to catch up," he told her, as she met his kind and gentle eyes with her panic-stricken ones.

"You don't have to," she said hurriedly. "I'm sure Sawada would like to have all of us welcome him back to the country." She looked meaningfully at her student's eyes. "He's been gone for so long and—"

"Kumiko," her grandfather interrupted, his voice low and somewhat reprimanding that she winced at the implied criticism. "I'll go see what Minoru and Tetsu have in terms of plans for tonight's dinner," he said, before giving her shoulders a firm squeeze and walking away.

Leaving her alone.

With Sawada.

Her _student._

Feeling his pointed stare, she quickly straightened up and approached him as casually as she possibly could. "Sawada," she said again, meeting his eyes.

He grinned at her. And it was that same rare grin she knew from long ago. The same grin she had worked hard at drawing out as his teacher.

"Is that all you have to say after all these years?" he asked, almost nonchalantly, she would have said, were it not for the slight narrowing of his eyes.

She hated this.

If it had been _any_ other student, she knew she would have flung herself at him in joy and given him the biggest hug a teacher could give to welcome him back home. She would have ruffled his hair and teased him about being late. She would have done something…something than just standing here and staring and being awkward.

Because this wasn't just any other student.

This was the boy who kept her secret when she first started to teach.

This was the boy who's always meant just a little bit more to her and her family during that year at Shirokin.

_He's your student,_ she reminded herself, as she pasted a smile at her face. Maybe, maybe the thing to do would be to treat him as she would any other student. Because at this point, she was at a loss. Slowly, awkwardly, she stepped forward and wrapped him in her arms as she attempted to ruffle his hair.

_He'd grown even taller,_ she thought, feeling his unresponsive body beneath her arms. "Welcome back, Sawada," she said softly, before she felt herself pushed away firmly by two strong hands.

"It won't work," he said steadily as he set her before him.

Looking up at him, she stared at the brooding eyes of old and asked innocently, "What do you mean?"

He let go of her arms, as if burned, before stepping back and watching her intently. "You know what I meant," he stated. He smiled ruefully. "Although it's just like you to pretend otherwise."

Giving him an indignant look, she stepped away and looked at him in askance. "I don't know what you mean," she reiterated slowly, lying through her teeth. What else did one say in this situation? She gestured towards the table to invite him to sit down. Looking up at him from her height left her feeling at a disadvantage at this stage.

He gave a deep, exasperated sigh before following up on her prompt.

She grinned. That sigh reminded her so much of the Sawada she knew way back then. She would recognize the mannerism anywhere.

Situating herself across him, she offered to top off his cup before pouring some of her own. "So," she began, wracking her brains for something intelligent to say. "How've you been?" She winced at the inanity of her words.

From the look she received, she could tell that he seemed to be admirably restraining himself from saying something else rather than the short, "I've been alright."

She nodded. "Things have been alright around here too," she told him. She grinned. "Can you believe that Uchiyama is now your brother-in-law?" she asked teasingly. "I bet you didn't see that one coming. Natsumi-chan was very disappointed that you didn't make it to the wedding last year, but I'm sure you've made it up to her." She tucked an imaginary strand of her hair behind her ear. "You must have seen her already. Isn't she great? She's been doing really well with the pregnancy—"

"Stop it," he muttered lowly, his lips hovering just above the sake cup as he peered at her from above its rim. "I told you before it won't work." He placed his cup gently down the table and looked at her steadily. "I didn't come here for small talk."

The hell? Then why _did _he come here? Surely it wasn't to—

"Then why have you come here?" she asked, her voice bordering on frustration. _Without any sort of warning? _At least, if she had known he was coming, she could have mentally prepared herself. She could have had a speech ready to deliver. Because while she knew perfectly well how to greet a former student, or an old friend, she was a little out of her depth on how to greet an old…she paused.

She couldn't quite make herself complete the thought.

* * *

He gave a mirthless laugh. Somehow, in all his dreams of this moment, in all the fantasies he'd had regarding coming back here and facing her, he had never imagined her looking quite so lost. He'd imagined her surprised and he'd imagined her angry. In his most optimistic and idealistic moments, he'd even imagined her _happy_ to see him. After all, to him, it had been a given that he would come back. Eventually.

He had meant to come back sooner. When he left the day after his mother's funeral, he'd had every intention of coming back as soon as he possibly could. He had committed himself to two more months in the current volunteer program he had been working with. If he remembered correctly, he had been helping teach English to a group of young adults in a small South American village. As strange as it seemed, he had found himself slipping comfortably in the skin of an instructor. He had found himself enjoying his students who, granted, were not quite the delinquents that class 3-D was in his days.

And so he went back to teach, fully intending to return to Japan as soon as the school year ended. Except he didn't. He didn't come back that summer, or the summer after that, or the summer following. And now, over three years later, he stared at the woman who was in part responsible for keeping him away.

"I thought it would be best if we cleared the air," he replied somberly. "From what I hear, we were bound to see each other sooner or later." He noted her flushed cheeks.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, her eyes looking at him intently. "Yes, Natsumi-chan and I have become good friends over the years," she said carefully. "I'm surprised that she…she never mentioned you were coming home," she trailed off.

He smiled bitterly. Did she mean to hide it from him, her relationship with his father? He saw the careful way she watched his eyes and gauged his responses. Was she waiting for some sort of acknowledgment from him before broaching the subject? Could she even be…waiting for his _approval_?

He shuddered.

"That's because she didn't know about it until today," he replied abruptly. "It was…a surprise."

"Oh, it's a surprise alright," he could hear her mutter beneath her breath before she gave him a wide smile. "I bet she was ecstatic! She misses you, you know. I know she's told me several times that she was hoping you would be home when she delivered the baby." She paused for breath. "Speaking of which, how long do you plan on being here this time?" he heard the uncertainty in her voice.

"Actually," he began, making note to watch her reaction, "I've come home to stay."

"Heh?"

"I've come home to stay this time," he reiterated as he observed her eyes widen like saucers.

"You mean forever?" she asked blankly.

He gave a bitter laugh. "I'm not sure about forever, but definitely longer than a couple of days," he replied, aware of her growing agitation. Was she nervous about him being in town? Was she afraid that he might have some objections over her relationship with his father?

He grimaced at the acrid taste that thought brought to his mouth.

"That…that's…that's great, Sawada," she finally said softly. "I'm glad."

And for a moment, he let himself imagine that she really meant it. If it wasn't for the growing uneasiness he could see in her eyes, he might have actually been able to convince himself of it.

"I…I mean…Natsumi-chan must be over the moon!" she said somewhat awkwardly. "She's always complained about you living so far away. At one point she could barely keep up with the rate of your change of addresses!"

"Did you have that problem?" he asked abruptly, right before he silently reprimanded himself for being a masochist. He promised himself that he was _not _going to ask that particular question. After all, her silence all these years should have been answer enough. His mouth, however, seemed to have run away from him and had different agenda for this meeting.

"Heh?" she asked, her eyes looking guilty. "What problem?"

"Forget it," he muttered tersely, his pride momentarily overriding his need for answers. He looked away. Maybe he shouldn't have come here. At least not yet. Not this soon. Especially after talking to Natsumi. He stared at his sake.

He felt like slamming his head against a brick wall.

What the hell was he _doing_?

Didn't he come here to settle matters? Instead here he was at a loss for the words that would bring it all about in the open. Didn't he come here to find out from the horse's mouth, so to speak, if Natsumi's speculations were true? Instead, here he was afraid to ask the question for fear of the answer. And last but not the least, didn't he come here, fully intending to be able to look at her in the face and know, _know_, that his feelings for her were long dead? Instead, one look at her face was enough to leave him feeling like a school boy once more.

This was pathetic.

He was an adult.

And so were Yankumi and his father.

If there was something there (and Natsumi seemed certain that there was!), then he couldn't…_just couldn't…_ concern himself with it. At least not until he figured himself out.

Not until he'd figured her out.

He needed answers and the person to give it to him was sitting right in front of him.

"Sawada," she said interrupting his thoughts.

He looked up at her, meeting her earnest gaze. "I thought we'd established a long time ago that it's 'Shin,'" he told her.

She blushed, averting her eyes and ending up looking down at the table. He watched as she worried her bottom lip.

"You do remember, don't you?" he said almost tauntingly. He didn't know why he was doing this. Something inside him just needed to push and prod at her.

"Sawada," she said again, more forcefully this time.

He gritted his teeth. Was she going to deny it? Pretend that nothing happened? "Kumiko," he returned deliberately. He watched her mouth open, then close, and open again then close. He could almost be proud of himself. He might just have rendered her speechless. Frustrated at his lack of progress, he stood up and ran his fingers through his hair.

While he didn't think this would be easy, he didn't think it was going to be like pulling teeth. He had expected her to have a lot to say. If anyone had anything to say, it had to be her. After all, hadn't he said his piece years ago? While she…she responded in silence.

He'd accepted that response then. He'd been stupid to do so, but there it was. Now, however, no oceans or continents or outdated forms of communication separated them. He could demand the answers he sought. And this time, this time around, he wouldn't accept anything less.

"Yankumi," he finally said, using the name she was used to, the name she no doubt preferred coming from him. "What the hell happened?"

* * *

More author's note: as always, I love hearing from people who've read and liked my story as well as people who are kind enough to constructively criticize. 


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